How to Be Honest with Yourself

2nd December 2022

Read time: 3 minutes


We all tell ourselves stories, about ourselves. They give meaning to your life experiences.

And the truth is, we hate the truth—the true story that we are hiding.

Today we’re going to look at how being honest with yourself and others can boost your progress towards your goals.


When we’re honest with ourselves, we get to:

  • Focus on what’s going to have an impact
  • Become a better version of ourselves
  • Achieve our goals and dreams
  • Be open to new opportunities
  • Embrace our imperfections
  • Turn critiques into growth
  • Get out of our own way


I’ve met many professional athletes, founders, and high performers that you can tell aren’t honest with themselves.

The trouble is, many people aren’t honest with themselves, and tell themselves a story that limits their growth.

Stop lying to yourself

When you aren’t honest with yourself, you may find that you:

  • Self Sabotage (get in your own way)
  • Complain about your situation
  • Become defensive at criticism
  • Say one thing and do another
  • You find excuses/rationalise

The great news is that once we become aware that we aren’t being honest with ourselves, our lives and ambitions open up.

It takes courage, non-judgment, and a fresh new perspective.

Unrealised potential

It’s possible to go your whole life without realising you’re being dishonest with yourself. I’m sure you meet people like that.

We can recognise our excuses and rationalising once we get out of our own way.

We get to the meat and potatoes of what really matters and will make a difference.

Ultimately, the answers are there, we just have to go looking for them.

It’s our ego getting in the way and trying to protect us from the embarrassment that we think is coming when people call us out.

The most fulfillment in our lives comes when we’re in touch with what we really feel and need to do to get there.

Get out of your own way.

Perhaps you’re telling yourself that you’re just unlucky with injuries, but really you aren’t taking time to recover well enough.

Perhaps you didn’t get picked for an upcoming match because the coach “prefers another player” and maybe your own skills aren’t there yet.

Or you aren’t losing weight because “your body is not like other people’s”, yet you aren’t consistent in your training.

Chances are you’re finding an excuse or a way to deny the truth that needs to be addressed, followed by rationalising the situation.

How to become honest with yourself

Begin self reflecting

Ask yourself questions like “what did I do right today?” in a journal every night.

How did my actions help or hinder my goals?

How can I improve?

Writing down your thoughts makes lying to yourself harder.

Noticing your initial response

Practice noticing what your first instinct is. Is it rationalised? find an excuse? or essentially get in your own way.

Simply noticing it is a HUGE step. Because once we become aware, we can make a change.

Don’t beat yourself up when you realise what you’re doing. Do something about it.


Motivate with your future

Usually the excuses and rationale behind getting in our own way block the road to the “better” version of us.

So motivate yourself with the idea that if you make this one change, you could unlock the progress you are looking for.


Choose courage

Being honest with yourself is one of the most vulnerable things you can do.

And to be vulnerable like this requires courage.

So if it helps, be brave, choose courage, become honest with yourself, and get out of your own way.


That’s it for this week. Hope it helps!

Whenever you're ready, there is a couple of ways I can help you:

MindStrong Sport App – Mental Skills Training for Athletes

Personal Mindset Coaching - Contact for more

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