Owning Your Mistakes
“They are so stubborn, they can’t admit they are wrong”
“They’ll never own up to their mistakes.”
Have you caught yourself saying this about someone else before? I have.
I’ve made many mistakes in life. Too many to even count.
Everything, from my sports to my relationships.
Yet the trouble was that I spent a long time not owning my mistakes.
I spent my time trying to justify what I had done.
When we see someone not owning up to their mistake, it creates tension for us and others.
In my podcast, Life Lessons from Ted Lasso (my favourite show of all time).
I mention one of my favourite lessons: how the show teaches us to own our mistakes, to apologise, and to try to be better.
So why don’t we own up when we’ve made a mistake?
- The feeling of shame or guilt
- Wanting to be seen as perfect
- Our ego is trying to protect us
- Not wanting to take responsibility
- Through fear of being seen as stupid
In the end, we hold ourselves to an unrealistic standard.
But when we own our mistakes we recognise that we are human.
I challenge you to find anyone who has not made a mistake.
Owning your mistakes is the sign of true leadership, of others or yourself.
You improve relationships
You show your humility
You show self respect
You solve problems
You show strength
How to own your mistakes:
When you’re owning a mistake, there are a few elements to it that I think are important to either verbalise or note to yourself:
Acknowledge what you did.
The hardest part, being able to admit that you made a mistake. But the most crucial part of this process is giving others permission to do the same.
Recognise how it made you feel.
Be honest with the feelings that you experienced. Did it make you feel dumb, devalued, or damage your ego?
How it could have made them feel.
Acknowledge and empathise with how your mistakes could have made others feel. If it’s something you said or did, how would it have made you feel if it was done to you?
The change that you are going to make/how you will do things again.
Tell people (or yourself) how you are going to be better. Because you’d hope that in making the mistake, you don’t want it to happen again and would like to be better.
Owning (or not owning) your mistakes is a choice.
I’ll let Ted Lasso show you how it’s done as he explains that every choice is a chance.
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